Just Thinking…
Just another WordPress weblog

For some reason, it’s always when I should be doing homework that I want to write, read, or blog. I wonder if this is natural for humans or if it’s just another of the many manifestations of my… oh blast… there IS a word for it… but I can’t remember it right now… GAAH!!!!!
ANYWAY, back to the point. Which is that I want to blog. Oh, I’m at school, BTW. In one of the computer labs. I wonder if people can see what I’m writing. STOP LOOKING, PEOPLE!!!
Oh, never mind, the only person who’s behind me is too short to see above her (his?) computer. Now I feel silly.
My back is KILLING me. And so are my legs. Why is myself killing me??? What have I ever done to it? Well, besides feed it junk food, put it through torturous weight lifting routines, and force it to undergo ruthless tests of agility. And deprive it of sleep. NEVERTHELESS, it’s got no business killing me. And I can’t even kill it to get back at it.
Blast, I wish it was 2:30. 2:30 is such a nice time on these sorts of days. It means SCHOOL’S OUT FOR EVERYBODY AND MY BEST FRIEND CAN COME AND PICK ME UP AND SAVE ME FROM THIS DIABOLICAL NEST OF GENIUSES!!!! Perhaps he will be late. What then?
Silly Bridget. You know what then. Your mind shall be instantly taken over by erroneous beings carrying light sabers and popsicles. So you had better hope with all your cells that he shows up on time.
Note to self: look up the meaning of the word, “erroneous.”
Now I want to talk about the 202nd Panzer division. Was there a 202nd Panzer division? I don’t know. I kind of hope so, because otherwise I’ll be talking about nothing. But I kind of hope not, because if there is, I know nothing about it, and in the process of writing absolute lies about it I will be sure to be picked up not by my best friend but by some sort of organization devoted to eradicating (YES, I know what that word means) all people who tell absolute lies about their beloved 202nd Panzer division.
Oh, goodness. Kevin, pick me up soon. This is rapidly going downhill.
Why can’t I write stories as well I as I can write brainlessness and insanity?
AHA! I have discovered the answer! To write stories takes genius! To write about stupidity does not! Therefore, since I can write about stupidity but not about the lives of fictional people, I…
Never mind. That cannot be the answer.


Blegh. This week has NOT been the best in my life.
Why not, Bridget?
Why not? You are why not. You and your incessant thinking – or lack thereof, in the matter of the D+ – are ruining my life.
I can’t believe you’re blaming me for that grade! You are the one who should have studied more!
Really? I thought I was just the innocent observer. Duh, I should have studied more. But you weren’t exactly cooperative that night.
And what about what you said that night?
What night?
You know darn well what night.
Did you just stoop to using a curse word?
In fact, you were pretty much a bitch that entire day.
Okay, I get it. Shut up.
Don’t tell me, tell him.
Tell him to shut up?
NO! Tell him that you get it that you were a bitch.
I think that he gets it.
Tell him that you get it.
I don’t think he wants to hear it again.
No wonder; the way you act, I wouldn’t be surprised if he never wants to hear anything from you again.
Hey, I’ve talked to him since and he didn’t seem mad.
Things aren’t right and you know it.
Go away. You’re not helping. Just go away.
It’s good for everyone that you’re leaving this summer.
Okay, THAT is CROSSING THE LINE!!! GET THE **** OUT OF HERE!!!!!!!!!
Both of you just SHUT UP!!! I’m trying to sleep! And would one of you mind shutting the blinds?


*shuts eyes tight and covers them*
What are you doing?
Being un-scared.
Is it working?
Yes.
Are you sure?
Positive.
*pauses* What if it stops working?
It won’t.
Are you sure?
Not quite.
You don’t sound very certain.
I am.
You didn’t sound certain.
I’m absolutely, positively, and in every imaginable way certain.
You weren’t a second ago.
Yes, I was.
No, you –
YES, I WAS!!!


… but I can’t help it. I hate school so much right now!!!!!!!!!!!! And I can’t go and vent to anybody because it’s late and they’re all in bed or ought to be. I am so sick of homework!
Bridget, shut up, get over it, and get to work. NOW.
Oh, $*%& off. NOW.
Uh-uh. Do it. Wanna hang out on Wednesday? Better get your stuff done.
The truth hurts.


Do you ever wonder about impossible things? Like infinity, or existence, or true love? It’s funny, I never once doubted infinity, but sometimes I wonder about existence. And true love – don’t even get me started. Sometimes I wonder if I’ll wake up and realize that everything was a dream – my family, my friends, Taekwon-Do, school. If I woke up from this, would it be with a feeling of dread that something was lurking around the corner of my bedroom door? Or would I be outright terrified, because I didn’t even have a bedroom, or a bedroom door, and whatever creature was there was something I could see looming over me instead of hiding in a corner? Maybe I would wake up happy. (Shut up, Myself, I can hear you laughing.) Maybe I would wake up heartbroken; it was such a sad dream. Maybe I would wake up full of new ideas. Maybe I would wake up in Middle-Earth. That wouldn’t be so bad at all. Obviously, I don’t doubt the fact that I exist. I mean, I’m here. That’s gotta mean something. I don’t even doubt that I exist on this earth. But it’s kind of fun just to speculate sometimes. Sorry for that dose of Aristotle. Or Plato. Or whoever the hell it was. I know some great philosopher must have wondered something like this.
You know, I’m a Christian. Wonder if you knew that.


Bridget, have you ever realized how ridiculous you are?
Many times, I have thought upon the subject.
Does it not bother you?
Not in the slightest. Nor in the teeniest. Not a bit.
Well, it ought to.
You certainly do enough bothering to make up for it.
Yes, but I mean well.
You do not! You’re just trying to show what you think is your superiority!
I’m hurt that you would think such a thing.
No, you’re not. You’re just trying to give me a guilt trip.
*gasps*
Isn’t it funny when Myself gets offended?


I’m pretty happy right now.
So am I.
I concur. Today is a day of exuberance and joyfulness.
In fact, I think this weekend has been rather excellent.
As perfect as it gets.
No, not quite.
Damn close.
This is true.
Damn true.
Why do you keep swearing???
Ask Bridget. That damn girl is always doing something weird.
Bridget?
It’s part of his character.
I see. I keep forgetting that I is male. Why is he, anyway?
Felt like making him that way. Me, Myself, and I. I am Me, you are Myself. We’re both female. I figured we needed a guy to keep things interesting. So I is male.
Pretty damn happy about it too.
Bridget! Stop making I swear. You ought to be ashamed of yourself.
I am ashamed of Myself. *giggles*

I was just upstairs getting grapes and for some reason I randomly remembered a day, ages ago, when I told my TKD teacher that something was my fault. I had been doing kicks with another guy (the guy that I liked at the time, as a matter of fact) and wasn’t paying attention, and when he kicked me I flew against the wall. It didn’t hurt, but the teacher got mad at him for losing control. Anyway, a couple of nights later I was sitting along the sidelines, waiting for the adult class to get out, and the teacher came over there to get a water bottle, and I told him that the incident was mostly my fault. I figured he would be mad or something for not telling him sooner, but he was totally cool about; just said it was no problem and told me not to worry about it. I could have laughed, I was so relieved.
So, just looking at my online literature class – it seems someone doesn’t know how to spell “vulnerable”. Not trying to be critical, but spelling and grammar errors really bug me. And the worst part is, they’re all over the place.
But honestly, I couldn’t care less right now. Life is kinda beautiful.


I was right.
You were? Of course you were! You always are!
Why, thank you, Myself. Goodness, but it’s been a long time since you agreed with me.
Are you kidding? I always agree with you!
What? You never do!
I agree with you. I haven’t been around lately, but from experience, I’d say it’s true.
Oh, hey, I. Yeah, no kidding, it’s been a while. Alright, Myself, let’s drop it, okay? I wanna talk.

I’m listening to really old music right now. Well, not really old music, but stuff that I listened to while I was in The Other Place. I didn’t realize how much I missed it. No, I don’t wanna go back, but… I can’t even explain why I liked it, especially when I hated it so much then. Oh, well. You probably don’t care.
I’m talking to Sean. Okay, now I’m not. That last statement was about five minutes ago.
Dude, I’m happy. Why?
I just got a really good grade on my history essay.
I landed a jump, and practically tore myself up on a freakin’ intense at-least-8-foot-high jump that was absolutely incredible.
I know now what I’m going to get when I get my tattoo. (Yes, I’m getting one.)
People appear to like my writing skills on ApricotPie.
Taekwon-Do is awesome.
AND… no, I don’t talk about my personal life, for the obvious reason that it is personal, and it is mine, and not yours, and therefore none of your business, even if by now you are very much interested. Which I doubt.
AND… I feel like being happy.


I’m kind of happy in an oddly abnormal manner.
Why?
I don’t really care to tell you. I just felt like being happy.
Really?
No, of course not. How many people are happy just because they want to be?
I don’t know, but you certainly are.
Well, it’s none of your business.
I beg your pardon, but I am you, after a fashion.
Then you ought to know already, and you don’t need to ask.
Have you noticed how much more you talk than I do?
I have better reason.
You’re also being rather uninteresting.
No one’s required to read this. In which case, it hardly matters.
You’re always stilted when you talk to me.
Yes, you do tend to bring out my difficult side.
Whereas I am perfectly natural.
Perfectly.
SILENCE ON BOTH SIDES.
I wonder which of us is more interesting.
That’s easy.
Yeah? Who?

OH MY GOODNESS!!!!
-beep-
-beep-
-beep-
We interrupt the conversation with ourselves to draw your attention to a lovely full moon outside. Seriously, it is spectacular. Huge and fat and round, with the lower half thinly covered with a veil of cloud.
These are things that must be shared. Which I did. And I feel more satisfied now, even though the moon won’t look this cool for very long.
But for now, it’s beautiful.


Such madness in this place. Why did I say that? I don’t know. It’s actually relatively normal here. (Which, BTW, is a little abnormal in itself.) I just felt like saying there was madness in this place. I’m exhausted. If I start rambling, I’m not responsible for anything I say.
I’ve discovered that I like to talk about myself. A lot.
Well, duh. Why else would you have started this blog?
To share my brilliant thoughts with the world, of course.
Brilliant thoughts?
Yes.
All your brilliant thoughts come from me.
Yeah, you wish. Go away, will you? I was talking.
About yourself.
Did I mention to you that I got on the president’s list for my academic acheivements? I did.
And did I ever tell you I once named both my feet? I don’t believe so.



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