Just Thinking…
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I’m pretty happy right now.
So am I.
I concur. Today is a day of exuberance and joyfulness.
In fact, I think this weekend has been rather excellent.
As perfect as it gets.
No, not quite.
Damn close.
This is true.
Damn true.
Why do you keep swearing???
Ask Bridget. That damn girl is always doing something weird.
Bridget?
It’s part of his character.
I see. I keep forgetting that I is male. Why is he, anyway?
Felt like making him that way. Me, Myself, and I. I am Me, you are Myself. We’re both female. I figured we needed a guy to keep things interesting. So I is male.
Pretty damn happy about it too.
Bridget! Stop making I swear. You ought to be ashamed of yourself.
I am ashamed of Myself. *giggles*

I was just upstairs getting grapes and for some reason I randomly remembered a day, ages ago, when I told my TKD teacher that something was my fault. I had been doing kicks with another guy (the guy that I liked at the time, as a matter of fact) and wasn’t paying attention, and when he kicked me I flew against the wall. It didn’t hurt, but the teacher got mad at him for losing control. Anyway, a couple of nights later I was sitting along the sidelines, waiting for the adult class to get out, and the teacher came over there to get a water bottle, and I told him that the incident was mostly my fault. I figured he would be mad or something for not telling him sooner, but he was totally cool about; just said it was no problem and told me not to worry about it. I could have laughed, I was so relieved.
So, just looking at my online literature class – it seems someone doesn’t know how to spell “vulnerable”. Not trying to be critical, but spelling and grammar errors really bug me. And the worst part is, they’re all over the place.
But honestly, I couldn’t care less right now. Life is kinda beautiful.


I was right.
You were? Of course you were! You always are!
Why, thank you, Myself. Goodness, but it’s been a long time since you agreed with me.
Are you kidding? I always agree with you!
What? You never do!
I agree with you. I haven’t been around lately, but from experience, I’d say it’s true.
Oh, hey, I. Yeah, no kidding, it’s been a while. Alright, Myself, let’s drop it, okay? I wanna talk.

I’m listening to really old music right now. Well, not really old music, but stuff that I listened to while I was in The Other Place. I didn’t realize how much I missed it. No, I don’t wanna go back, but… I can’t even explain why I liked it, especially when I hated it so much then. Oh, well. You probably don’t care.
I’m talking to Sean. Okay, now I’m not. That last statement was about five minutes ago.
Dude, I’m happy. Why?
I just got a really good grade on my history essay.
I landed a jump, and practically tore myself up on a freakin’ intense at-least-8-foot-high jump that was absolutely incredible.
I know now what I’m going to get when I get my tattoo. (Yes, I’m getting one.)
People appear to like my writing skills on ApricotPie.
Taekwon-Do is awesome.
AND… no, I don’t talk about my personal life, for the obvious reason that it is personal, and it is mine, and not yours, and therefore none of your business, even if by now you are very much interested. Which I doubt.
AND… I feel like being happy.


Today is going to be a beautiful day. Kind of almost COULD love the world right now, but as it is I’m pretty happy with my part of it, and that’s all that matters.


Jan
26.

Why can’t I be satisfied with the present? Why do I always want to go back in time or forward? SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH ME!!!


Jan
25.

I think I’ve figured out one of my worst problems. I think I can fix all the problems of the world just by telling the truth, and in the process of telling the truth, I say something I shouldn’t have said, and things blow up. But why CAN’T everything be solved like that? I’m beginning to think that maybe bluntness isn’t the best way of fixing things at all. Boy, am I ever joyful now.


… and I’m beginning to feel a little ridiculous. I broke my routine today. Five ice cubes in my iced tea instead of seven. I feel evil.
And again, I feel ridiculous. I consider that a change to my routine?
Oh well. Much less grumpy now. Seems strange that the human race, which is usually what pisses me off in the first place, is what makes me happy in the end.
Now if only…


Okay, frankly, I feel horrible right now. I hate this. If you were to ask me what this is, I wouldn’t be able to give you a straight answer. Fortunately, you didn’t ask me, and hopefully I’ll be able to hash this out on my own. First though, I’m going to ignore the subject. I do that in real life; I might as well do it on here.
I really don’t like my math class all that much. Why? It’s easy. But way too time-consuming.
I painted my nails five different colors of sunset and my mom said I was schizophrenic. Not that I mind.
I’m listening to the Top Gun soundtrack right now.
Okay, I’ll stop ignoring the subject, once I tell you that I’m okay. Believe me? Good.
BTW, there is only one lie that I’ve told over and over again. And it’s the only one I’ll probably never stop telling. I bet the world would fall apart if I stopped telling it. Sorry, that was random.

Anyway. Okay, so I’m tired of homework. That’s definitely part of it.
Jordan is also part of it. I don’t understand the way she thinks anymore. Granted, I didn’t always, not very well, but certainly not now. I’m beginning to think I never knew her. For someone who used to be my best friend, that’s a little strange. That part’s definitely bugging me.
Also, I’ve been grouchy all day. Just little things. And the fact that I’ve been grouchy all day makes me grouchy now. Just the thought of it. And instead of fixing it, I’m being grouchier because of it.
Kevin wanted me to go to a concert with him in February. I don’t think I’ll be going. And even though I don’t really care much about concerts, I’m grumpy about that because I feel like being grumpy.
I’m grumpy because I deactivated my Facebook, I’m grumpy because dinner’s over, and I’m grumpy because I don’t feel like listening to music and I am anyway.
I’m grumpy because I haven’t gone to all the places I want to. In fact, I’ve only gone to a few. I wish there was TKD tonight. That always makes me feel better. TKD’s cool that way.
I think I’m grumpy because I’m bored.


Jan
24.

I do not feel normal right now. Not a bit. I was talking to one of my friends earlier, and she says that she doesn’t hate anybody. She doesn’t even dislike anybody. I don’t get that at all. She was talking about people she knew whose parents hurt them, and she said that she didn’t hate the parents. She didn’t even dislike them. She felt sorry for them. I don’t understand her at all anymore.
In fact, I don’t understand much of anything. Maybe that’s normal. Maybe no one understands anything.
Gaah, I sound horrible. I don’t really believe that anyway. I’ve just been thinking too much today.


I think I’m the luckiest girl in the world.


Jan
20.

McDonalds excuse for a hamburger: a bun, a patty, a slice of pickle, and a smear each of ketchup and mustard. Of course, I ordered it without onions, but still.



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