I think I may love the world. Okay, WOW. Just realized that my statement was entirely untrue. I will have to think more carefully about these things. There are a few people I could think of and they would spoil my wonderful thoughts. So I will ignore the fact that they even exist, and pretend to love the world, because at the very least, the corner I live in is very pleasant right now.

I should do something. Like dishes or mopping or something. Something that requires getting my hands wet. Why? I wear nail polish. I like nail polish. But I am a messy nail-polish-putter-onner. My nails look very nice. But the skin around them looks very painted. And water helps it go away faster.
Alright, so I have more important things to talk about than my nails. I don’t really feel like sharing them with the public though. I’m not exactly a public person.
Oh, I’m sorry, is something wrong? You’re hurt and shocked that I won’t share? Too bad. I’m not sorry. Really, think about it. It makes no sense to say anything.
I’M JUST RAMBLING NOW!!!!! Why can’t I shut up? I don’t feel great. Less than spectacular. And I miss Jordan. I really wish she would come back. I’m trying to get my mind off stuff, and I’m not really good at it. I’ve never been. I’ve watched all the funny movies I care to watch, and I could do work but it doesn’t always help. Last night I was up until after 3 in the morning because I couldn’t stop thinking. I got up a little after 7 to go to a black belt workout, and I could barely keep my eyes open. The teacher kept bugging me about it. Yes, I realize I’m testing in about 2 months, but I can’t help that I’m tired. And he thought it was my fault that I was up that late. I dunno, maybe it was. In a roundabout way. I need to work harder. I honestly don’t care if I break. Not right now I don’t.
I’m going to keep the house clean. I’m going to do well at TKD. In fact, I’m going to get as close to perfection as I can. I’m going to get stronger. I’m going to be ready for college when it starts, and I’m going to kick butt. I’m going to do everything. ARE YOU HAPPY NOW???

This is driving me crazy. Things are too slow! I want my black belt test to happen. Don’t get me wrong, I am NOT ready for it. At ALL. A little nervous actually. I’ve got to work hard. But I still want it to happen. And I’m glad Kevin’s gonna be there. But I wish Jordan and Sierra could come too. I intend to rock that place. 😀

Are you happy? I’M happy. I’m very happy. I don’t give reasons for being happy. Even if I actually have one. Half the time I don’t. This time I do.
You know what? I wanna shock someone. Anyone will do. EVERYONE would do better. I haven’t shocked anybody in such a long time. I used to do it all the time. I wonder if I’ve become too boring to shock people. Blegh. Not a nice picture. So I’m gonna have to do it soon. With what, I don’t know. But people, prepare to be shocked. I’VE THOUGHT OF IT!!!!! I know how I’m going to shock people! Unfortunately, most of the very few people who actually read this blog won’t see it. And telling won’t be the same. But just wait and see… I will change the world. And there I go, dreaming again. But maybe this time it will happen.

I’ve always hated the term “liquid fire”. I thought it was so cheesy. Well, I saw it tonight, and that was the most appropriate expression for it. Nothing else could have fit it.

Maybe whoever invented self control wasn’t such an idiot. At least he knew how to survive. Maybe I should try it someday. Maybe someday I’ll shut my mouth and not mess things up. Ha, and maybe someday I’ll learn that sarcasm doesn’t solve everything. While I’m dreaming, maybe someday I’ll find Atlantis, and Avalon, and Mount Olympus, and own a villa on the coast of Italy. Maybe my summer allergies will go away. And maybe not. I have bigger things to hope for. I’M TIRED OF “MAYBE”S!!!! I want something definite!
I just found something definite. I’ll never make sense – not to myself, not to anyone else. And that in itself makes sense and is definite enough for the moment. See, I have my own survival technique. Genius am I.
(Make sense?)

The answer to my most recent post(about 60 seconds ago, as it were) – Better. Life is so good right now, and I feel like being an optimist.

I’m listening to music and it reminds me SO MUCH of California! Almost miss it. Not the part where we were staying in my grandparents cramped house. The rest of it.
I just got my classes figured out. I’m going to college!!! Can you believe it? Can I? SHOULD I? (Yes.) And they have a library. RIGHT THERE IN THE COLLEGE. And candy and snacks in the bookstore downstairs. And I know people who are going there. How good can this get?

Well, Kevin’s gonna come to my black belt test. That makes me feel a lot better. Now I better practice hard, because for one, I want to do well, and for another, we’re always competing in stuff like that. I’m glad he’s coming though. I wanted to have him there. I was gonna practice hard anyway, but this gives me extra motivation. Nervous much? Me? Yes. A lot. WAYYYY TOO MUCH. Maybe. Nervousness is good, right? At least before the test. It’ll probably make me work harder. But during the test… holy crap, it’s NOT gonna be good then. Oh well, I’ll practice so hard that I can’t help but do good. And it’s gonna be in my own studio, so that will help. And my best friend is gonna be there! See??? I’ll be fine!!!
HA!
😀

It has cool pictures too. A couple of them are a little weird, but most of them are good. After the storm Remix – The Cynic Project I’m pretty happy right now.