I’m at school pretending to do homework. Don’t you love that? I’ve finally got calc II down… ish. (Yes, for some reason I tack on an “ish” to whatever I’m not quite sure about.)

Man, I started this post over two weeks ago and never finished it. I hate seeing the word “Draft” dangling at the end of post title. Even if the post is untitled. Things are weird lately. I used to have a set of rules governing the way I would act. The most basic one is that I would say I was okay no matter what. Now, don’t get me wrong, I am pretty much always okay. I was born to be okay. And that’s actually not a rule I have broken for a very long time. The last time was nearly a year ago. A year is a long time to be okay. But I digress.
I am still okay. Just clarifying. I was merely giving an example of a rule that I have. Another rule is no accepting help. Calc II knocked that one out. A third is NO FALLING IN LOVE WHEN YOU CANNOT HAVE A RELATIONSHIP. Broken.
And finally, a fourth. No letting other people fall in love with you. Very difficult, in a way, because you can never be sure what someone else wants in a person. So, at this point, I’m two for two. There are other rules, but I don’t really feel like listing them all out here. There are quite a few. I am going to have to go through them and get rid of a few, since I seem to be breaking them too often to really call them rules. More like… guidelines, they are. (Pirates of the Caribbean rocks!)
I’m in a rather… self-satisfied mood. Not in a good mood, exactly, but my balloon of an ego suffers naught.

Bye-bye, straight A’s. Oh, and goodbye to any sense of self-respect. Gotta love my life.

Uggh… I feel like I’m going to fail every single class. Or maybe just barely pass it. Which would actually be worse, in my opinion, because I wouldn’t get the chance to retake it and get an A.
I feel pretty much horrible. I don’t know how I’ll get straight A’s. I don’t know what I’ll do if I DON’T get straight A’s.

I’m having an awfully good life. Like, amazing. I know it could get better. But I’m pretty satisfied with it as it is. I’m swing dancing and doing TKD and ice skating and I’m going to start swimming tomorrow. DAMMIT DAMMIT DAMMIT I NEED TO GET OUT OF THIS PLACE!!!!!!!!!! There isn’t enough! I’m having an absolutely fabulous time – how can I possibly be unsatisfied? WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME???????? Well, there are only two options – get over it, or throw everything else away and travel the world until there’s nothing left to see. (After that, start on space.) What? Did you really just say that there’s a third option? Stay here and be miserable? No. I don’t intend to live my entire life like that. I’m going to have the best time anyone ever could. I am NOT going to get stuck living an ordinary life.