I don’t fit in here. I don’t think anyone understands me. Not even my fiance.
Do you remember Teddy? We’re engaged now, as of about a month ago. I just moved halfway across the country to live with him and his family (I cannot stress how temporary this living situation is) and now I’m trying to set up new routines. But I’m lonely. I miss my friends. Nobody here understands the importance of coffee. It’s weird that I go running. I’m too goody-two-shoes for his brother and too bad-girl for his mom. And he seems different. I fell in love with him when he was motivated. He did things. He was in school and trying hard; he went mountain-climbing; he was heading somewhere. Now he’s lazy. No way around it. And I love him, but it drives me crazy.

I feel like I owe the world a post. I’m too ridiculously happy not to. I may have mentioned I was dating somebody. Well, guess what – he is the pretty much the most amazing guy… EVER. Grrrrr. I don’t even want to talk about it. Goodness knows I think about him enough; best if those thoughts don’t get transferred to paper. Or internet.
So I guess I could talk about everything else.
Or I could talk about him.
Or not. ‘Cause, you know, I might say something dumb.
Screw it.
He’s amazing. He’s all I’ve been thinking about this past month. The walks to the park. And the airfield. The time we first kissed, and I said “Took you long enough” and he laughed. The way his face changes when he sees me. I swear, I can’t get rid of that stupid grin on my face, and neither can he. We like our stupid grins.
All I listen to now are love songs – most of them country, because he’s been showing those to me and they’re wonderful. Dang it, he’s wonderful. He walks me to at least one class each day, and we always race to the door to try to open it first. He tries to, but I beat him sometimes. 😀
I am now going to shut up. I hope you enjoyed this episode of rambling.

The fever that comes over you while dancing is consuming. It could take over your life. When the music stops, it’s like you’re waking up from the most intense dream you’ve ever had.
Whirling, spinning, passing hands, ducking under, dipping – it all happens so fast and so smoothly that it leaves you breathless. You don’t even have to think; it’s already overwhelmed your body.
Later, at night, when the only thing left is the feeling that the world is dipping and spinning under you. It’s like walking on land after long years at sea. It’s like coming back to earth after flying.
And that’s why I can’t stop dancing.

I feel absolutely fabulous this morning. I’ve been up since 5:30, and I’m sitting in the coffee shop. I finally finished punching out my coffee card and just ordered a peppermint white mocha. I’ve never had one of those. I was feeling adventurous and wanted something I’d never tried before. I expect it to be fabulous. It’s that kind of day.
HAA! He just brought it out and it is fantastic. Sweet and hot and pepperminty. Yum. Today is going to rock. Assuming I get my math assignment done. Which I better finish. Right now.
Oh, and here’s a shout-out to Sean: Good morning, big brother!!!!! Have yourself something good to eat.

Wow. I never really write on here anymore.
Preferred spellings…

Colour vs. color: Color. The other sounds like it should be related to liquor. Not that I have any problem with liquor. I just think about it in a completely different context.

Grey vs. gray. Grey. It sounds more silvery, and more mysterious, and quite frankly, just more awesome.

Honour vs. honor: Please see above regarding colour and color.

Gaol vs. jail: Gaol all the way.

I’m addicted to this song. Clocks – Coldplay (Instrumental) It sounds like running and adventure and love. If I could take my dream life and put it to music, this would be it. It’s not often you find a song like that. It’s not something that you easily get out of your mind. I heard it first years ago and I tried for ages to find that song, but I had no words to go off of. I heard people playing it on the piano and I heard in stores sometimes. It drove me crazy. Finally, this last summer, I was looking at songs from Coldplay on Youtube, and I tried this one because I’d heard it was popular. I can’t describe the feeling you get when you finally find something that you’ve been trying to find for years.

So damn proud of myself… I just got some work. One job is temporary, only until winter, but the other (if she decides to keep me on) will be for quite a while, I think. Plus there’s a tutoring job I’m going to try to get, once school starts. I don’t really want to schedule anything for next week; it’s already packed.
I’m happy now, if you hadn’t noticed. 😀 😀 😀

It’s been a while since I’ve really written in here. Never fear, I still talk non-stop in real life. I just kind of shut up cyberically. And you know what? I don’t care if you think that’s not a real word. It is now, and an awesome one at that. Also, your opinion doesn’t matter very much because this is not your blog.
I was talking about Europe to a friend from Taekwon-Do and we are now planning to go next summer. Never mind that I’ll have to work weekends and skip snowboarding to go. We’re gonna go EVERYWHERE…
At least I hope so. She doesn’t know for sure if she can go, and neither do I. But we’re looking at plane tickets now. My mom would kill me if she knew. I’ll have to tell her soon. You can bet it won’t go over well.
You have no idea the kind of thrill that goes through you when you’re looking for plane tickets. It’s amazing.
School starts soon!!!!! I can’t wait. I’m taking chemistry, Calc II, honors writing, then another honors class which is kind of lit/history, intro to engineering, and religion. Religion is kind of mandatory. Oh well. No big.
Life kind of rocks. Even if I can’t get Xavier off my mind. 🙂

I guess… I guess it’s time for me to be fearless again.

Kinda like my life. If nothing else, I’m rarely bored. No, I don’t mean it’s full of drama. Not anymore at least, thank goodness. That was just a mess. Nope, now I’m getting back in shape, getting ready for school, and… I’m seeing someone. I shall refer to him on here – assuming I ever refer to him at all – as the One Whom I Am Seeing. Or Xavier. Yes, he looks and acts like a Xavier. Whatever it is that Xaviers act like. Plus I always liked the name. Aiie, I’m starved.
Kevin, you were right – cats are the devil’s spawn. I say this right after chasing the worst of them out of the laundry basket. I’m sure that tomorrow, I’ll think about them and say, oh, they’re not that bad; soft, furry, purry, sweet, etc. Waaaaiiit… no, tomorrow, I’ll be too busy to think about cats. I’m gonna see Sean AND there’s a tournament!!! My hand is pretty much all better. I wish I could describe how much I love competition. There’s nothing like it. Grrr, I need to go switch out the laundry.
So pumped for tomorrow though… don’t know why. I think maybe I’m ready for this one.

Damn, I’m in such a weird mood right now, for a whole bunch of reasons.

A. I’m up late.
B. I’m talking to someone I never even suspected could hold a conversation. Turns out he’s just fine at it.
D. I’ve been talking to said person about stuff like traveling, and every time I talk about that it makes me want it so bad. I wouldn’t say I want it more than anything else, but I want it… a lot.
E. I’m not going to say…

All in all, though, it’s been pretty great since I got back. I like Kevin’s girlfriend a LOT more than I ever expected to. For some reason, I’ve been having so much more fun than I expected to here. I think I was right the first time – things are gonna work out.