The fever that comes over you while dancing is consuming. It could take over your life. When the music stops, it’s like you’re waking up from the most intense dream you’ve ever had.
Whirling, spinning, passing hands, ducking under, dipping – it all happens so fast and so smoothly that it leaves you breathless. You don’t even have to think; it’s already overwhelmed your body.
Later, at night, when the only thing left is the feeling that the world is dipping and spinning under you. It’s like walking on land after long years at sea. It’s like coming back to earth after flying.
And that’s why I can’t stop dancing.

So, remember what I said about the stuff I dream not being a good idea? Yeah. I dreamed about stabbing people. WHY did I dream about stabbing people??? It’s not really something I tend to do very often. Ever. You know.
In my defense, I was only stabbing vampires and monsters. Which is another weird thing. Vampires don’t even cross my mind most of the time. I think vampire books are stupid.
BTW, I hate chemistry, and chemistry tests, and everything.
And for the record, I’ve been up since 5:20 this morning, so I can be a grouch if I want.
And here are clouds.

I’m working on doing something new everyday. If something happens that’s never happened before, that will do just as well. This whole thing sounds horribly cheesy, but I’m getting bored with doing stuff over and over again. For the last week, most of the stuff I did was pretty small. I learned the basic Charleston step. I did a puzzle with an imaginary friend (hey, I like talking to myself and sometimes that branches out a little bit). That kind of thing. I need to start getting creative and do something really big. I dreamed once that I ended up in the men’s bathroom. There’s an idea. Then, most of the things I dream about are probably not good ideas.
P.S. I kind of stole the title from something I heard before. Deal with it.

It’s so easy to feel ashamed of what you wrote when you were younger.

I feel absolutely fabulous this morning. I’ve been up since 5:30, and I’m sitting in the coffee shop. I finally finished punching out my coffee card and just ordered a peppermint white mocha. I’ve never had one of those. I was feeling adventurous and wanted something I’d never tried before. I expect it to be fabulous. It’s that kind of day.
HAA! He just brought it out and it is fantastic. Sweet and hot and pepperminty. Yum. Today is going to rock. Assuming I get my math assignment done. Which I better finish. Right now.
Oh, and here’s a shout-out to Sean: Good morning, big brother!!!!! Have yourself something good to eat.

I want beauty so bad. Not for myself. I don’t particularly care if I’m beautiful. (Although it is nice to hear it once in a while.) I want to see beauty. I want to live it. And, in the midst of these romantic musings, I insert a plainly clothed observation: it is difficult to type out the word “beautiful” quickly without making a mistake.
I can see it’s been some time since I really wrote here. Winter quarter starts in a week. I haven’t done anything!!! I suppose that’s the point of break…
I’ve hung out with people, but I haven’t seen any of my best friends except for Sierra, who I spent Christmas with. (That, BTW, was fabulous.) Kevin, Leah, and Matt remain unhung. Which is a good thing in some cases, an awkward thing in other cases, and a bad thing in the way I mean it. I am so weird. 😛 I’m working on my massive pile of books, and I’ve watched lots of Doctor Who. Lots of TV, period. And I just saw one of my old friends today – rather, a person I used to like. For two years. It wasn’t nearly as awkward as I was expecting it to be. In fact, it was barely awkward at all. We ate ice cream. I like ice cream.
I’m saying all of this in my head with a British accent. Doctor Who will do that to you. I think I’m slowly becoming British. I find myself wishing for tea and sandwiches and cloudy days. And a time machine.
I can’t wait for school. I really can’t. I have more this quarter than I did last quarter (BTW, I didn’t do all that well last quarter) and I anticipate it with great happiness and sense of purpose. I’ve got so much to do!!! I relish it. I like the word “relish.” EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!! That was a squeal of excitement. I can’t wait for Western Thought this quarter. We get to read the coolest things. And I also can’t wait to see my mentor and my pastor. I really am enjoying the Bible study.
New word, BTW, brought to you by Sierra: “swag.” Said this fashion: “That fella over there, he got swaaag.”
Also, I love the song “Starlight” by Muse. So cheerful at the beginning. Also, did I ever mention that Sierra was awesome? She is. Very awesome indeed. And I get to see her again next weekend because I’m going contra dancing with her for New Years!!! WHEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!

It had an ice chest in it. In my sleep-deprived state I happen to find this funny.

Aiiieeee!!! So much homework! And FYI, I am getting pretty tired of derivative functions that won’t cooperate.
Wow… it’s been so long… Derivatives have ceased to be a problem. It’s these bloody partial fraction expansions that are killing me now. And I’m going to be up all night. I really don’t want to be. But I have a chem test, and a calc test immediately after. It really isn’t fair.
HAHA!!! COFFEE!!! Bring on the math! I can do anything!

I’m at school pretending to do homework. Don’t you love that? I’ve finally got calc II down… ish. (Yes, for some reason I tack on an “ish” to whatever I’m not quite sure about.)

Man, I started this post over two weeks ago and never finished it. I hate seeing the word “Draft” dangling at the end of post title. Even if the post is untitled. Things are weird lately. I used to have a set of rules governing the way I would act. The most basic one is that I would say I was okay no matter what. Now, don’t get me wrong, I am pretty much always okay. I was born to be okay. And that’s actually not a rule I have broken for a very long time. The last time was nearly a year ago. A year is a long time to be okay. But I digress.
I am still okay. Just clarifying. I was merely giving an example of a rule that I have. Another rule is no accepting help. Calc II knocked that one out. A third is NO FALLING IN LOVE WHEN YOU CANNOT HAVE A RELATIONSHIP. Broken.
And finally, a fourth. No letting other people fall in love with you. Very difficult, in a way, because you can never be sure what someone else wants in a person. So, at this point, I’m two for two. There are other rules, but I don’t really feel like listing them all out here. There are quite a few. I am going to have to go through them and get rid of a few, since I seem to be breaking them too often to really call them rules. More like… guidelines, they are. (Pirates of the Caribbean rocks!)
I’m in a rather… self-satisfied mood. Not in a good mood, exactly, but my balloon of an ego suffers naught.

Bye-bye, straight A’s. Oh, and goodbye to any sense of self-respect. Gotta love my life.