Well, on one side of my life, we find the good stuff. I’m busy. I’m cleaning and finding small jobs and applying for scholarships. I’m also going to go see Sean this Monday. I think I like Xavier, and it appears that he likes me. School starts soon, and I’m one of those weird people who likes school. My life is moving along.
On the other side of my life, we find (surprise, surprise) the bad stuff. I’m restless. I’m fidgety. I’m bored. I need more. This part of the world isn’t enough for me anymore. I want to just pack up and leave indefinitely; leave a note for my family and send a text to my friends that I’ll see them again when I come back. Why do I have to love home so much when I want to leave it so badly??? It’s like there’s a million different sides of me. I thought I only had two – the public side and the private side. But now, the public and private sides of me are merging and I’m finding other sides. I have this weird, shy side that comes out only rarely, the impulsive side which would throw caution to the wind, and the party-pooper side which tells my impulsive to hold on the caution. Needless to say, I like that side the least.
On a side note, I just looked at flights to Ireland. Probably won’t go there anytime soon, but maybe next summer. Makes me feel just a little better about my stagnant life.