I don’t know what to do anymore. I feel rather alone here. I suppose I am making friends. But I don’t belong here. I can’t put my finger on what’s wrong, but something is. I want to go home. I can’t tell Teddy that – it will hurt and/or scare him. I can’t tell my friends that because they will just say “Then come HOME!” They won’t understand what keeps me here. I don’t understand what keeps me here. I just don’t think I can leave him here to face this by himself. Whether I’m right about him or not, I don’t know that I’m capable of hurting someone like that.
At least I hope to God I’m not.
But I’m scared, and lonely, and I sometimes just want to run. I shouldn’t be feeling that way. Stupid brain.