Something about me makes me want to hit bookshelves. Something about me makes bookshelves want to hit me. Therefore, I am constantly hitting or being hit by bookshelves. Something’s wrong with that.
They’re tightening up on airport security. The latest technology is a people scanner that looks under your clothes. That means (since security guards are watching the scanner) that every time you go flying, somebody is visually undressing you. Nice, huh?
They started this after a guy tried to bomb a plane with explosives he hid in his underwear. The attempt failed when he burned himself while trying to light the fuse. Serves him right.
I think next time I fly I’m going to write “F*** you.” on my chest. They’ll like that, don’t you think?
Sheesh.