For some reason, it’s always when I should be doing homework that I want to write, read, or blog. I wonder if this is natural for humans or if it’s just another of the many manifestations of my… oh blast… there IS a word for it… but I can’t remember it right now… GAAH!!!!!
ANYWAY, back to the point. Which is that I want to blog. Oh, I’m at school, BTW. In one of the computer labs. I wonder if people can see what I’m writing. STOP LOOKING, PEOPLE!!!
Oh, never mind, the only person who’s behind me is too short to see above her (his?) computer. Now I feel silly.
My back is KILLING me. And so are my legs. Why is myself killing me??? What have I ever done to it? Well, besides feed it junk food, put it through torturous weight lifting routines, and force it to undergo ruthless tests of agility. And deprive it of sleep. NEVERTHELESS, it’s got no business killing me. And I can’t even kill it to get back at it.
Blast, I wish it was 2:30. 2:30 is such a nice time on these sorts of days. It means SCHOOL’S OUT FOR EVERYBODY AND MY BEST FRIEND CAN COME AND PICK ME UP AND SAVE ME FROM THIS DIABOLICAL NEST OF GENIUSES!!!! Perhaps he will be late. What then?
Silly Bridget. You know what then. Your mind shall be instantly taken over by erroneous beings carrying light sabers and popsicles. So you had better hope with all your cells that he shows up on time.
Note to self: look up the meaning of the word, “erroneous.”
Now I want to talk about the 202nd Panzer division. Was there a 202nd Panzer division? I don’t know. I kind of hope so, because otherwise I’ll be talking about nothing. But I kind of hope not, because if there is, I know nothing about it, and in the process of writing absolute lies about it I will be sure to be picked up not by my best friend but by some sort of organization devoted to eradicating (YES, I know what that word means) all people who tell absolute lies about their beloved 202nd Panzer division.
Oh, goodness. Kevin, pick me up soon. This is rapidly going downhill.
Why can’t I write stories as well I as I can write brainlessness and insanity?
AHA! I have discovered the answer! To write stories takes genius! To write about stupidity does not! Therefore, since I can write about stupidity but not about the lives of fictional people, I…
Never mind. That cannot be the answer.

No, I’m not giving up. That would be almost as stupid as what I’m doing. To quote Aragorn, “This day we fight!”

And I have seven happy little Jolly Ranchers. One Cherry, two Blue Raspberry, two grape, and two watermelon. Seven in all. Seven happy little jolly little Jolly Ranchers.

I feel like background music. Pretty, companionable music, perhaps, but background music nonetheless. Just watching the world while I’m sitting inside the radio. Sometimes I feel like I can’t possibly do anything more; I’m doing so much already. Sometimes though, I don’t feel like I can ever do enough.
Right now I feel both.

For some reason, I just got the picture of me on a battlefield, fighting for my life. Kind of a cool picture, actually. Must go now; I have to do Something Important.

Do you ever wonder about impossible things? Like infinity, or existence, or true love? It’s funny, I never once doubted infinity, but sometimes I wonder about existence. And true love – don’t even get me started. Sometimes I wonder if I’ll wake up and realize that everything was a dream – my family, my friends, Taekwon-Do, school. If I woke up from this, would it be with a feeling of dread that something was lurking around the corner of my bedroom door? Or would I be outright terrified, because I didn’t even have a bedroom, or a bedroom door, and whatever creature was there was something I could see looming over me instead of hiding in a corner? Maybe I would wake up happy. (Shut up, Myself, I can hear you laughing.) Maybe I would wake up heartbroken; it was such a sad dream. Maybe I would wake up full of new ideas. Maybe I would wake up in Middle-Earth. That wouldn’t be so bad at all. Obviously, I don’t doubt the fact that I exist. I mean, I’m here. That’s gotta mean something. I don’t even doubt that I exist on this earth. But it’s kind of fun just to speculate sometimes. Sorry for that dose of Aristotle. Or Plato. Or whoever the hell it was. I know some great philosopher must have wondered something like this.
You know, I’m a Christian. Wonder if you knew that.

When I said I wanted adventure, I didn’t mean this kind. I really can’t deal with this. I meant the kind where I go off with a sword (or a machine gun – I’m not picky) and defeat bad guys. I don’t want this kind. This kind is so much harder than the other kind. I don’t mind fearing for my life – I might not even fear for it – and I don’t mind getting banged up and bruised up and cut up, and I don’t mind doubting that I’ll see the morning. I do mind this. Life isn’t supposed to do this!

I miss the way I used to be. I miss the things I used to do.
It’s nice outside. I’m kind of enjoying it. Not very much though, because I’m inside, sick for the third time since school started, and because I’m thinking of upsetting things. I never used to think of things like that. I just ignored them. Was I really that much worse off for not thinking about them? Seems to me I wasn’t. I don’t know. I can’t trust my head right now. Being sick doesn’t do wonders for my brain. Oh well. My brain really must not have been working too well in the first place. Look at the messes I get into.
Please, I need a little magic. I need a little help.
I can’t believe I just said that. Okay. I’m going to unsay it. Ready? Watch.
.pleh elttil a deen I .cigam elttil a deen I ,esaelP
There. It’s been unsaid. But I can’t un-mean it right now.
And yes, Dad, my blinds are still open. Like I said before, it’s nice outside. And I need that kind of magic.

So, a quick update.
I have a nice purply bruise on my palm right now – an oh-so subtle reminder that I should not hit trees. Not that I won’t do it. (Actually, I probably won’t.)
I just yawned.
I really like Chinese food. Really, really, really.
I’m listening to 80’s music.
I’m happy, in a way.

I was right.
You were? Of course you were! You always are!
Why, thank you, Myself. Goodness, but it’s been a long time since you agreed with me.
Are you kidding? I always agree with you!
What? You never do!
I agree with you. I haven’t been around lately, but from experience, I’d say it’s true.
Oh, hey, I. Yeah, no kidding, it’s been a while. Alright, Myself, let’s drop it, okay? I wanna talk.

I’m listening to really old music right now. Well, not really old music, but stuff that I listened to while I was in The Other Place. I didn’t realize how much I missed it. No, I don’t wanna go back, but… I can’t even explain why I liked it, especially when I hated it so much then. Oh, well. You probably don’t care.
I’m talking to Sean. Okay, now I’m not. That last statement was about five minutes ago.
Dude, I’m happy. Why?
I just got a really good grade on my history essay.
I landed a jump, and practically tore myself up on a freakin’ intense at-least-8-foot-high jump that was absolutely incredible.
I know now what I’m going to get when I get my tattoo. (Yes, I’m getting one.)
People appear to like my writing skills on ApricotPie.
Taekwon-Do is awesome.
AND… no, I don’t talk about my personal life, for the obvious reason that it is personal, and it is mine, and not yours, and therefore none of your business, even if by now you are very much interested. Which I doubt.
AND… I feel like being happy.

Today is going to be a beautiful day. Kind of almost COULD love the world right now, but as it is I’m pretty happy with my part of it, and that’s all that matters.